I thought I’d look at why I am doing this and dug out a snippet from my debt diary from a few years ago. I’ve never deleted my notes, as it is invaluable to my progression, recovery and a reminder. Not that I need reminding. I’m not going back there.
The mortgage Meeting went better than expected but I am still in a black hole of debt that’s one step away from the end. It’s more like a red hole of debt. I can’t seem to bring my self up from the ocean floor, to reach for help. No one is going to understand for the second time round. Especially since the debt is so vast now. I try not to spend money. I try not to go out. But yet each month my stress, panic and hatred of myself and the situation I’ve driven myself to just breaks me. There is no let up. Its continuous! Forever flourishing but its only flourishing to the credit company’s that offer yet more and more on balances. It’s too easy for them to send you notification that you can have £5000 more – if you’ve got 4 cards that’s £20k they’ve let you just use. Have they not thought about checking your actual situation. Do they not realise? Can they not see from minimum payments every month that this guy can’t afford to be given more? Oh no its 100% my fault because I’m a responsible adult etc. Yes I spent the money. Yes i didn’t pick the phone up to cancel the card. Yes I shouldn’t have asked for one in the first place, but surely they can see warning signs. Im drowning here.
My snowball debt diary
This is my frugal month…